Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Your tits are I can't wait for
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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