her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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