Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
