I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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