I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Randomize