I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
