when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I am one with the molecules
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I currently don't understand fingers.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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