Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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