I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
