Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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