I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize