I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
