when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
