Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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