I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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