Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Green mimosas i think yes
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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