Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
