I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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