my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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