He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
it's like iHOP with fire
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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