She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize