he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
