KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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