We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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