I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
