bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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