Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Your cock deserves a montage
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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