I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
