Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
