I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize