But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Randomize
