I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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