If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
