I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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