There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
