Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
