"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
it was like eating out sand paper
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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