so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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