I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
