According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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