I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Need sex. Gaining weight.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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