I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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