nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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