yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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