I wish I only lived at night.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She even gives head with a lisp.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
