do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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