A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
