i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
