Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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