she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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