I just saw a hot homeless man
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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