I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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