i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
