i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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