I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
