I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
