I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
