I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize