90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
